The Perpetual Synonym Shortage

This premier package targets the neural pathways responsible for linguistic retrieval. The service ensures that, at the most crucial conversational moments (pitching an idea, telling a joke, introducing a spouse), the target will suddenly, irrevocably forget a common, easily recognizable word (e.g., Spoon, Window, Adjacent). The victim will experience the intense, maddening sensation of having the word right on the "tip of the tongue," but be unable to articulate it, causing them to flail awkwardly, point, or resort to confusing descriptive phrases ("...you know, that thing you eat soup with"). Administrative Note: The lost word is always temporary (usually retrieved 2 minutes after the conversation is over) and never medically significant. This is strictly a service of social and intellectual humiliation.